Gutter ball guru or lean, mean bowling machine? Itâs all in the starsâŠ
Aries (March 21 - April 20)
Key traits: Whether youâre playing or fighting, you have loads of fiery energy! Youâre curious, cheerful and honest â no cheating on your watch. You can be generous to weaker team members, teaching moves and sharing tricks with them.
Most likely to: Arrive all energetic and ready to drop some pins, get impatient while waiting for your bowling shoes, plot up some weird new bowling throws to test out, get into a quarrel with your teammates âcos your âmindâs not in the gameâ. But life must be an adventure, right?!
Taurus (April 21 - May 21)
Key traits: You just love that bowling is so romantically old-school! It suits your patient nature, too, since you can keep working at it until you get away with some artistic new trick shots. Just donât get too stubborn about doing things âyour wayâ if the ball keeps hitting the gutterâŠ
Most likely to: Rock up in a cute tutu and vintage Cons, demanding ALL the loaded fries and cheese sauce in the building. You pick the comfiest chair and settle in for some snacking â could somebody ask the DJ for your favourite song while youâre at it?
Gemini (May 22 - June 21)
Key traits: Smart, charming, quick-witted⊠Youâre loads of fun when your best side steps forward! You like figuring out trick shots and youâre happy to help others. Just keep your fickle twin in check and donât just give up when things donât go your wayâŠ
Most likely to: Do the Ministry of Silly Walks on the bowling lane, dropping the ball on your foot or doing the involuntary splits while at it â and then the team would have to fetch a stretcher to carry you off because beyond the line THE FLOOR IS LAVA. (Nope, blaming your âevil twinâ wonât save you from a stern talking-to.
Cancer (June 22 â July 22)
Key traits: Youâre a gentle, careful soul, so youâll take your time figuring out the rules: no stepping over the line or trying bizarre bouncing bowling ball strike shots! Your caring nature will easily pick up on whoâs struggling or not having fun, and youâll try to help them.
Most likely to: Keep calm and bowl on â up until the moment someone criticises your technique. Beware the gentle wrath of a Cancerian! Also, yes, you might have found âyourâ ball and only ever want to bowl with it from now on, but please donât stick your fingers down the ball chute to find itâŠ
Leo (July 23 â August 23)
Key traits: Proud, wilful, loyal, enthusiastic⊠Youâre your teamâs biggest cheerleader, probably causing loads of drama along the way! But it will be glamorous drama, filled with indulgent moments and sparkle. Bring on the glittery bowling balls!
Most likely to: Look like a million bucks while bowling â one must be prepared for some fabulous Insta poses after landing all those impressive strikes, after all⊠Just watch your back for any bowling ball rebounds from jealous rivals!
Virgo (August 24 â September 22)
Key traits: Practical, perceptive, perfectionist⊠On your good days, you make an art form of the things you try to do. On bad days? Well, letâs just say your team members might be whining about âsomebodyâ being a bit fussy and limitingâŠ
Most likely to: Stop the lanes when you bowl. Itâs all in your elegant style, your feet âjust soâ, the ball nestled neatly into your hand, the perfectionist gleam in your eye⊠Even the notorious bowling shoes look good on you. Everybody knows: if this ISNâT a strike then they ARE seeing history in the making!
Libra (September 23 â October 23)
Key traits: Ah, such an idealist: you may never have played before, but you know one thing for sure: youâre ready for your first strike! But first, you want to get to know everything about your teammates, using your charisma and strong social skills to good effect.
Most likely to: Rock up with a tray full of everybodyâs favourite drinks. Explain how youâve ânot really practicedâ before this game so that first strike was just luck. (Or how your first turkey was just because you didnât want to embarrass the âweakestâ team member, which you promise is not youâŠ)
Scorpio (October 24 â November 22)
Key traits: We get it: youâre mysterious. Youâre intelligent. You donât really know why youâre taking part in this kind of âteamâ thing anyway. But youâre still going to give it your best shot to turn bowling into a seriously sexy sport.
Most likely to: Scowl enigmatically in the direction of your rival players. Wink at cuties and then pretend you didnât. Go home with a date.
Sagittarius (November 23 â December 21)
Key traits: Never bowled before? No worries! Youâre dead sure youâre going to pick it up in a heartbeat. Sprained wrists and ankles? Nah. âSo, where do my fingers goâŠ?â
Most likely to: Make ALL OF THE BOWLING PUNS EVER and giggle about them. âItâs not how you bowl, itâs how you roll!â
Capricorn (December 22 â January 20)
Key traits: Youâre practical and smart, and your reliability makes you the perfect team member to always honour bowling night. No matter that your team has yet to win a game â just keep swimming, right?
Most likely to: Pitch up with a proper plan (diagrams included) to help each team member optimise their game by getting their bowling shots right. If they positioned their left legs just so⊠(You might end up with a ball âaccidentallyâ falling on your head.)
Aquarius (January 21 â February 18)
Key traits: Your tolerant, calm nature makes you the perfect coach for a wayward team of bowlers. Youâll make sure they play to their strengths and keep their first moves and throws practical rather than flashy.
Most likely to: Keep your teamâs zen going in the face of heckling rivals and numerous gutter balls. Youâll smooth egos, smile at everyone and then, just when things are going well, run away with the enemyâs cute captain. You rebel, you!
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Key traits: Youâre a friendly, good-tempered spirit that likes doing kind things, such as ordering more tater tots for a Taurean teammate or polishing a Leoâs icky bowling ball. Just donât retreat away from the lanes when things get going: we want to see you bowl!
Most likely to: Support your team members, cheering when they drop some pins and doling out hugs and milkshakes when they just canât keep their balls out of the gutter.
Want to test this star sign theory? The lanes are waiting...Â
