Seven Reasons to Bowl It Off This Summer

We always think of summer as the perfect season, where magic happens and nothing goes wrong. But once you’re in the thick of the end-of-year madness, you suddenly remember bindies, sunburn and having to pretend you’re happy with the socks Nanna got you for Christmas. Don’t fret, friends: no matter what life throws at you this summer, you can bowl it off! And ZONE BOWLING has all the scenarios covered.

You got out for a golden duck in backyard cricket

You can blame it on that rubbish “one hand, one bounce” rule, but you’re out first ball and Uncle Dave’s going to be at the crease for hours. There’s no better way to work off the frustration of your appeal being denied than slinging some seven-kilo missiles at 10 frames of pins. Now who’s a striker, Uncle Dave?!

You’re redder than a $20 note

Summer can really sneak up on you. All it takes is one barbecue – even on an overcast day – for the family to nickname you Lobster on account of your nuclear-grade sunburn. After applying wet towels and trying not to peel, you’ll want to spend some time out of the sun’s harmful rays. Enter: bowling. The perfect way to enjoy a summer sport in air-conditioned comfort.

You’ve been dumped – twice

Once by your girlfriend and once by those treacherous waves off the coast. Both have left you crying, choking and salty. What you need is an activity to take your mind off the humiliation, somewhere you can rebuild your confidence without the fear of having your heart or boogie board snapped in half. If you’re extra fragile, we’ll set up the bumpers.

The servo’s slushie machine was broken – again

It seems like every time you get a craving for an icy sugar treat, the machine’s broken. In fact, you can’t remember a time it was ever working. Well, you know what we’re going to say. There are plenty of delicious, cool-down treats you can order between bowls at the bowling alley. Bowl it off!

Mum talks nonstop over everything you try to watch

You’re home for the holidays, and there’s absolutely no point trying to watch anything on TV. Whether it’s a movie or a gripping series, Mum will be giving her version of the director’s commentary – and she’s no better at the cinema, either. Time to give her an activity where she can be the centre of attention for her mad spare-taking skills instead of her live-action reviews.

You had to cover for a flaky co-worker

Seriously, the only reason you took this summer job was to fund a road trip, and here you are working the morning shift at the servo because Deano called in sick (again) and the boss begged you. Worst of all, your road-tripping buddies filled up the Kombi here before heading off. No – worse than that, the slushie machine is broken again, and everyone’s blaming you. Tell you what – once this shift is over, you’re taking those double-time-and-a-half earnings and unleashing some aggression at those tenpins.

Your nephew’s getting a big head

You thought that golden duck would teach him some humility, but he’s still arguing the toss over time-immemorial house rules laid down generations past. Time to teach this young buck that there’s no sport, no game, no activity that you can’t thrash him at. Time to show him how a true Aussie legend rolls. It’s time... for a bowl-off.