Seven More Reasons to Bowl It Off This Summer


Summer’s meant to be the season of holidays and fun, but somehow our memories get wiped clean of all the things that can go wrong when the mercury rises. The air conditioner goes on the blink, bluebottles invade the beaches, everyone makes New Year’s Eve plans without you ... But don’t worry. ZONE BOWLING has one solution to all your summer woes: Bowl it off! Here’s the proof, in seven bespoke scenarios.

You stepped in chewing gum

Most people know not to spit their chewie on the street, but apparently the homing beacon on your sneakers was magnetically drawn to that adhesive nightmare left by that one annoying human. Ugh. Luckily, there’s one place in town that provides a fresh pair of kicks to strap on, so you don’t have to worry about the cleaning the gum off until you’ve knocked down some pins.

Nobody brings a plate anymore

You always seem to end up hosting, and for some reason people have forgotten that it’s polite to at least bring a salad, maybe some sausages or even a six pack of their own to drink. Then, when the party’s over, they all go home and you have to clean up! Not anymore. This time you’re going to enjoy yourself without having to cater, clean or count how much you’ve spent on other people’s food.

Everyone’s making fun of your bowling skills

Yeah, this one’s a bit meta. But it’s really annoying when every second ball goes straight down the gutter, and every other one nudges a single pin. Well, there’s one sure way to rid yourself of the shame of bad bowling skills... and that’s bowling. The more you roll, the better you’ll bowl. And next time you face that jeering crowd, you’ll have a strike or spare in your back pocket.

Swimsuit shopping didn’t go well

Over winter you built up a lovely layer of insulation to keep the cold at bay. Which meant shopping for a new set of summer shorts was a bit of a shock to the system. No doubt you’ll work off the cold-season kilos, and the best way to start getting active when it’s too hot to run on the elliptical? Bowl it off!

Your band didn’t make the Hottest 100 voting list

Seriously, you thought you released some pretty sweet singles this year, but apparently the posers-that-be at Triple J disagree. Your bassist is mounting a write-in campaign on the band Facebook page, but engagement is sorely lacking so far. Time for a bonding session that offers a way better chance of winning a trophy (once you’re good enough to join a league, that is).

You dropped your phone in the pool

An absolute nightmare. Soaking it in rice hasn’t helped – now it turns on, but delivers nothing more than the false hope of a blank screen. Try not to think about all the times you said you’d back up your photos and data later on. Try not to think about how long is left on your contract before you can get a new phone. The best distraction? Ten frames of pin-demolishing action.

Those kids next door keep blasting their terrible music

There’s no point knocking on the door and asking them to keep it down. It never works ... and the police just shrug. The only thing that truly works is getting out of the house for the day, and keeping yourself occupied – otherwise your blood pressure’s going to enter the red ZONE BOWLING. Time to ring a few mates and hit the alley, my friend.